Saturday, January 30, 2010

Who Do I Look Like?

This is me.

Take one camera, three tons of eye shadow, half a cup of hair spray, a corset, a necklace purchased at the ren faire, and add a healthy dose of Photoshop.

And there you have it. Me.

Can I be really honest? I stare at this picture. I could gaze at her lips all day. But when I look away from her lips I get drawn into her eyelashes. This woman is beautiful. This woman is hot. This woman has absolutely no idea how special she is.

That's why she's looking down, after all, and not into the camera. Because sometimes she thinks she's more beautiful when she's someone else.

This woman has flawless skin. This woman's nose is not too big. This woman has perfect hair and is not a single pound overweight.


This is also me.

Notice again the skin, the lips, the eyes? This woman is strong. She faces her llife and does not let it stare her down. She is vibrant, and powerful. Hot when she needs to be hot and cold as ice when necessary.

Me again.

Scared. Alone. Yet somehow, still very present.

Perhaps you recognize this one.

Childlike, naiive, innocent, yet her eyes hold a shadow of something.

Is this getting closer to the real me?

Does a Photoshopped image reflect who we are?

Does a retouched picture, with no acne, fewer chins, no crow's feet, and a generous filter really show who we are?

Does it say anything that I did the photoshopping myself?

Who am I?

Who do I wish I were?

Certainly not who I see in the mirror most days.

But if you are into the Doppleganger craze on Facebook you'll know why I was looking to see what celebrity I look most like. It is disheartening, especially when I see the gorgeous celebs that my friends actually do look like. I mean really, I've only got like one option.

Depressing, isn't it?

So I choose not to participate in Doppleganger week... at least not until I get up the nerve to put up the picture I really want to.

Yes, they are fabulous. Just try to look away.

But until then, I will look back to who I was when I didn't realize that anybody was looking, and I'll see that I was perhaps the most beautiful then.



And, maybe someday, young women will start doing Google searches for me, for their own Doppleganger searches. Because I will be able to show the world that any size, any weight, can be dead sexy, if you believe in yourself.

You don't even have to Photoshop it at all.

15 comments:

  1. Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest”

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  2. I loved this post, wow, its inspirational to me, because I struggle with My self image. that last pic of you is beautiful :) you are beautiful :)

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  3. I love the first one - so striking. I actually think you look best in the more natural shots.

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  4. Aw, awesome!

    We're all way harder on ourselves than how others view us.

    I didn't do the doppleganger thing. Couldn't think of anyone.

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  5. You are beautiful! And you don't need the photoshop to feel that way. Although I have to admit that the first picture turned out really really neat! And I love to photoshop pictures. But since I don't acutally have photoshop and do all of my editing online I don't really get too fancy. But your points about editing photos are very good ones. Who are we really, how will people remember us, our real selves or our photoshoped selves.

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  6. This is a very inspiring post, and I think it's admirable of you to talk about this. I knew a lot of girls in high school who complained about their weight and would start trying to eat better to drop pounds. One girl I knew actually looked healthy once she lost weight, but another girl who was actually my best friend all through high school had lost a ton of weight when I came back home for the summer after my first year of college and she looked almost sickly. I will never for the life of me understand what is so wrong about putting an untouched, un-Photoshopped woman on the cover of a magazine. They're not even real people if their pictures have to be altered.

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  7. Love your site. Great pictures. Cheers, Lia

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  8. Janet, you are beautiful! On the outside, and in. I would always be so happy to see you when I lived in Chicago, because you have the power to INSTANTLY make others around you happy. You've got a contagious glow. And while photoshop has the ability to make you look like a movie star, I like you best as Janet.

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  9. That was a great post! You're beautiful.

    -FringeGirl

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  10. The first one with the red was great! :-) I didn't do the celeb look-a-like thing...but it would be interesting to see who it would come out to be.

    Thanks for visiting me on my SITS day!

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  11. I love your pictures and your photoshop work! This is a great post, it made me think about who I think I really am.

    Found you from SITS, hope you are having a great weekend!

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  12. great post! my celebrity twin is a toss up between Christina Ricci and Katie Holmes. I thought it was kind of a slap in the face because I've always thought these women were kind of plain compared to most celebrities....and I don't find myself plain at all. I mean, I am drop dead gorgeous! I really loved this post! Thanks for sharing!

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  13. You are beautiful with or without photoshop. You are actually the most beautiful in the last shot because that smile is fantastic; it lights up your whole face.

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  14. I think all the photos are good, but I agree with the others, I like the last one best. You have a beautiful smile and look the happiest in the last photo. You ARE beautiful! I didn't participate either because I've never been told I look like any celebrity. Great post! Stopping by from SITS!

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  15. I am a few days behind (moving) but this is a great post. I think everyone struggles with this to some degree. It can be hard to be comfortable in our own skin, and society doesn't make it much easier. They make it hard to accept ourselves.

    Be true to you - and THAT is beautiful.

    PS - I like the last picture best...it looks happy and natural :)

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