This is me.
Take one camera, three tons of eye shadow, half a cup of hair spray, a corset, a necklace purchased at the ren faire, and add a healthy dose of Photoshop.
And there you have it. Me.
Can I be really honest? I stare at this picture. I could gaze at her lips all day. But when I look away from her lips I get drawn into her eyelashes. This woman is beautiful. This woman is hot. This woman has absolutely no idea how special she is.
That's why she's looking down, after all, and not into the camera. Because sometimes she thinks she's more beautiful when she's someone else.
This woman has flawless skin. This woman's nose is not too big. This woman has perfect hair and is not a single pound overweight.
This is also me.
Notice again the skin, the lips, the eyes? This woman is strong. She faces her llife and does not let it stare her down. She is vibrant, and powerful. Hot when she needs to be hot and cold as ice when necessary.
Scared. Alone. Yet somehow, still very present.
Perhaps you recognize this one.
Childlike, naiive, innocent, yet her eyes hold a shadow of something.
Is this getting closer to the real me?
Does a Photoshopped image reflect who we are?
Does a retouched picture, with no acne, fewer chins, no crow's feet, and a generous filter really show who we are?
Does it say anything that I did the photoshopping myself?
Who am I?
Who do I wish I were?
Certainly not who I see in the mirror most days.
But if you are into the Doppleganger craze on Facebook you'll know why I was looking to see what celebrity I look most like. It is disheartening, especially when I see the gorgeous celebs that my friends actually do look like. I mean really, I've only got like one option.
Depressing, isn't it?
So I choose not to participate in Doppleganger week... at least not until I get up the nerve to put up the picture I really want to.
Yes, they are fabulous. Just try to look away.
But until then, I will look back to who I was when I didn't realize that anybody was looking, and I'll see that I was perhaps the most beautiful then.
And, maybe someday, young women will start doing Google searches for me, for their own Doppleganger searches. Because I will be able to show the world that any size, any weight, can be dead sexy, if you believe in yourself.
You don't even have to Photoshop it at all.