Wednesday, January 6, 2010
I'm Not Superwoman, and That's OK
Oh, do I wish it were.
The really funny thing is, while I was scoping out online images for Superwoman I kept finding them on blogs by women whose posts were pretty much the same: "I'm not Superwoman, and That's OK."
They totally stole my thunder.
Ok, Ok, maybe it doesn't all have to be about me. And maybe it shouldn't. Because really, none of us is Superwoman (or Superman, for that matter). None of us can do everything we think we should do, and sometimes we can't even do everything we want to do. But what's really killing me is the fact that I'm writing this, at 10:50pm, from my office. Because I'm still here. Working.
Yes, technically I'm not working at the moment. But once it hit 10:30 I figured I'd take a break to blog so when I get home I won't even have to turn on the computer, all I have to do is take out my contacts, wash my face, and go to bed.
It's really funny... I'm single. I have a cat (not something high-maintenance like a dog with a small bladder). I work, I go to Zumba, I go to Bible Study, I go to Worship practice (when I'm on), I go to school Sunday nights, and I sleep. And I eat.
Does that sound like a lot? 'Cause I guess it kinda does.
What just grinds my gears though is the friends of mine who are married, have multiple children, and seem to be way more productive than I am. Of course some of them don't have full-time jobs, but still. Is it actually possible that my job is so very stressful that it's sucking the life out of me? Because I don't know how I can't handle work and my activities lately. Maybe it's just because I've had a lot of projects and I came in twice over the New Years weekend. And I'm still here tonight.
But what this post is really about, what it needs to be about, is the realization I had today when I was in the bathroom (seriously if I had a toilet at my computer I'd probably get so much more done... not because of the time savings but because there is just something that makes you think well when you're on the john). And that realization is...
Maybe it's ok that this is all I can handle.
*Whew* That was hard. Like really, really hard to type. If you read my Wit and Wisdom post yesterday, you'll see a quote that I likewise had difficulty with.
If you do just enough to win just 51% of all your battles, you'll win the war.
Like seriously, really? Because a 51% is an F.
Hi, my name is Janet and I'm a recovering perfectionist.
And I ask myself how, seriously how on earth can I not handle everything on my plate?
But today I had to think "You know, maybe it's just that my plate is small right now." Oooh, ouch. That's another hard one. Does that mean that I just naturally can't handle much? It's kind of like taking an IQ test and thinking really? That's it? That's the best I can ever be? (And to show you how insane I am, the last time I took one was on Facebook, the pinnacle of accuracy, at 2:45 in the morning, and I got a 127. That's not too shabby. I clearly just have issues.)
So what do these jumbled thoughts become now? Well, I had to put them together with a couple of other things. First--as I said earlier, when I went looking for Superwoman images I found a number of blogs by women who felt the same way. Perhaps even you do, on occasion. So I'm not alone, no matter what my situation is, in feeling overwhelmed by it.
Secondly--I think to something I read in The Power of Accidental Increase today, about how we can only go so far on our own power, and then we absolutely have to let God handle the rest. So really honestly, no matter how big or small your plate is, and no matter how much stuff is piled on it, there is no one (NO ONE) who can handle it all without the grace of God. So when the plate feels a bit too heavy, maybe we just have to stop trying to carry it all by ourselves.
And Third--I have to quote myself back at myself. (I hate it when that happens, especially in the same day.) I'm keeping up a second blog that I write in the mornings. You see, I'll be getting up in 7 hours from now (and remember I'm still at the office) to listen to some worship music, read the Bible, and generally attempt to hear from God. And today I got a fantastic Moment of Majesty... I realized that Jesus can fix anything.
So yeah, I'm not Superwoman. I'm not ever going to be, no matter how much weight I lose, no matter if I get a movie deal tomorrow and quit my day job and hire a cadre of servants. I. Am. Not. Nor. Will. I. Ever. Be. Superwoman.
I'm just Janet. An Inspired Dreamer.
And that's ok.