Monday, March 15, 2010

Be My Guest Monday! Beyond "Life is Not Fair"

Hello and welcome again to Be My Guest Monday! If you don't know about my goal or if you'd like to be a guest in 2010, please click on that link and check it out.

Today's guest blogger is Amber from Making the Moments Count. Amber has two beautiful children, and she blogs about what life is like as a woman and as a mommy. Her guest post is quite heartwarming. Thanks for sharing, Amber!

Beyond "Life Is Not Fair"

It was a hard day. Crying, errands, crying, diapers, crying, dishes, crying, dinner, and more crying. My arms were tired. My heart was heavy. I was ready for bedtime. Unfortunately, Andrew had another idea. I sat in our rocking chair, watching a movie, and silently bemoaning my situation. It seemed so unfair.

My mind returned to a few months previous. I was very pregnant with Andrew. I had experienced nightly contractions for 7 weeks straight. I was not ready for this child to be born, but he seemed to have other ideas. After 2 days of non-stop contractions, I finally called my doctor in tears. Since I was 36 1/2 weeks along, he informed me they would not induce labor. He encouraged me to head to the hospital to see if the contractions were doing anything. I agreed and phoned my husband.

When we arrived at the hospital I was sure I had not progressed. I was ready to ask them for medicine to stop the uterine contractions. I was tired. I was pleasantly surprised that I had progressed to a 3. We decided to wait an hour and see if I would progress anymore. Nope. We went home.

There, I returned to my depression. It just was not fair.

It was here that I hit pause.

What does it mean to not be fair? How does my cousin feel who recently lost her baby? How does my friend feel who has struggled through infertility issues for years? How about my friends who struggle to keep a pregnancy?

At the end of these questions, I realized Andrew had stopped crying. I looked down and he smiles at me. His smile ripped that murky cloud open and I saw the sun clearer than I had in a long time.

I think it was then that I stopped wallowing in self-pity and I started to thank God for my two blessings from Heaven. My life hasn't gotten any easier, but the burdens have become lighter.

Oh, and in case you're wondering about the ending to my reflection, my little guy came the following morning.


Join me on my journey to cherish the moments.


  1. I am sorry you experienced the depression that can sometime follow pregnancy, but can empathize with you having done the same thing. So glad you got out of it and were able to move forward with gratitude and appreciation. Sometimes it takes a moment to think about it to realize life isn't always fair, but we are so blessed..

  2. Thank you so much for hosting me, Janet!

    @singedwingangel: I think the biggest thing I have learned from most of my trial has been to move forward with gratitude and appreciation. Thank you!

  3. It is pretty easy to get caught up in the "fair" argument with ourselves. I have always told my children that "fair" means everyone gets what they need, and it does not mean "equal". Somehow I can't seem to remember that when it comes to me and my own problems. Nice post.

  4. "It's not fair." I think that happens to everyone. When I went to my old YW leader's funeral, he husband spoke, and it was a beautiful, beautiful talk about "It's not fair." It's really turned my thinking around. What a cutie, btw!

  5. I hear you! We can get so caught up in the misery of the day/moment that we forget that there's a much bigger picture out there.

  6. Just think, if life were fair, we might not be who we are or where we are in it because everything would be different. :)

  7. Thanks for this reminder today, Amber, that I need to remember not to wallow in self-pity when things are REALLY so charmed and wonderful! I needed that today.

  8. That was an awesome post Amber! Very well written and very true!
    Every time I start down the "it's not fair" path I can't help but think of others who have it far worse. Then can see my blessing more clearly.

  9. @Kazzy: I like that--"fair means everyone gets what they need." In that case, I have a very "fair" life!

    @unabridgedgirl: I find myself getting too wrapped up in "life's not fair." As this post indicates, I am gradually learning to eradicate that negative phrase from my vocabulary and learn from my experiences.

    @TKW: I am seeing that bigger picture everyday.

    @momto6: I've never thought of it that way. What a great perspective!

    @Linda: Writing this reminded ME of how great I have it. I guess that's why we write, huh?

    @Serene: Oh, thanks! I think I am slowly learning that my life truly is blessed. Sure I have my trials but they are so much easier to bear when I trust in God.

  10. Great, tugging post. And very happy ending :)

    Happy to have found my way to your great blog, Janet!

  11. "It's not fair" - such a universal feeling and one it's easy to default to. Thanks for the reminder, Amber, that fairness is relative and that it is sometimes just as easy to count our blessings as to number our challenges.


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