Do you ever just feel that you could sing the song by heart?
Lonely, I'm Mr (Ms) Lonely,
I have nobody to call my own
I've been feeling like that all day. It's amazing how one incident can make you feel like everybody in your life is simply tolerating you. Not even patronizing. Just... tolerating. Just waiting for you to go away.
Do you ever feel like that?
This is not the way I'd planned to get back into the swing of free-form blogging, but dangit I just can't be happy right now.
My facebook status right now says I "hate being alone." And God bless them, two people came right out and said they're here for me. Of course the problem is they aren't actually physically here, with me. And one friend played the one-up card, because he's in a place that is super crazy lonely for him too. I feel for him, I really do.
And then someone did say that I can always remember that while I may be feeling lonely, I am never truly alone.
It's just that Jesus doesn't hold your hand or wrap his arms around you. Not in a way you can easily feel, anyway.
So what do you do? When you realize at the end of the day that every single person you talked with, worked with, laughed with, and maybe even thought you were friends with, is home with their own families and friends, leading their own lives, and you're just home... lonely.
I have had days like this before. Sometimes, I thought about how every single person I talked with, worked with, laughed with, etc. was probably being yelled at by kids, partners, significant others, or having demands made on them by these individuals. And then I found myself thankful to be so alone!!
ReplyDeleteWhen I got really, really lonely, I'd reach out to others. I'd give my sister a call or blog it out or call a friend.
coming over from SITS.
ReplyDeletesorry to hear it - i've suffered from depression in my life and i've found even when i'm surrounded by people you can still feel alone.
and what do i do to "cure" it? i write.