Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Green-Eyed Monster

A friend of one of my friends is an amazing photographer. I know this because when he posts photos of her on Facebook and tags her in them, I can see them even though I'm not friends with this guy.

And they're absolutely beautiful photos. And I hate them.

I hate that I can't take photos like that. I hate that I don't have a nice enough camera or enough time/skills to use Photoshop to the best of its abilities and make great shots like that and NO ONE should be able to take better pictures than me because if I'm not the best then what am I?

It's not the green-eyed monster for me... it's the green-eyed ulcer. Sometimes my stomach just clenches when I see someone who can write/draw/photograph/dance/look better than me. It seizes up to the point that I can almost taste what I had for dinner.

Please tell me I'm not the only person who feels like this sometimes.

And tell me what you do to unclench. Because I'm not going to let jealousy give me an ulcer. I have enough other things that I worry about and when it comes down to it why on earth do I worry about things?

Who among us can add one hour to their lives by worrying? If God created us (which I believe) and he also created the sparrow in the field, how can I look at that lovely creature for whom God provides utterly (how could it live if God hadn't created worms and trees and air currents?) and then wonder why He doesn't do the same for me?

Do birds envy other birds? No. Why? Because they're too busy doing what God put them on this earth to do. And maybe it's just to eat worms. But maybe it's to proclaim the majesty of His creation to those poor, petty, small-minded hairless creatures called humans.

If God knit me together in my mother's womb (which I believe, as God created ovaries, eggs, sperm and DNA) then how can I question the manner in which he created me? Better instead to ask what I am called to do, for as a great writer once said, "The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet." (Frederick Buechner)

So instead of sitting around and growing an ulcer because I don't have what someone else has, perhaps it's high time I look around myself at what I've got, and what makes me most happy. Because if I can give a little bit of that to someone in need, why, there I have found my purpose, there I have found my place in this world. And there I can join the sparrow in her song.

Will you sing with me?


  1. I love that quote, it's now the text on my screensaver. This is a hard topic for me to talk about. I'm often that way with people who have great singing voices. Not everyone, just some. Okay, not everyone, just most. It's a constant struggle, made even worse if they are skinnier/more put together than me. I really hate that feeling. I know what helps, but I also hate doing it, because then I have to be happy for someone else having a better voice than me.

    Pray for them.

    You know, in the good way, blessings and such as opposed to the more tempting prayers (God give them a ministry in timbuktu)

  2. Hi, SITsta! What an honest post. You are not the only one for sure. I feel this way towards women who are "naturally" thin. Ugh. You've given me something to think about.

    Thanks for visiting my blog and leaving a comment. I hope you come again as will I to your place.

  3. p.s. I'm a new follower! Looking forward to reading more.


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