Tuesday, December 1, 2009

You're So Cute I Want to Hurt You

I have a friend who is a wonderful mother. I mean it. She's got a husband and five boys and still manages to sleep and take care of everyone who comes within 3 miles of her house. She just oozes maternal comfort and love.

And she wants to eat your children.

Have you ever seen a baby that's so cute you have to come up with words to describe how cute they are? And do you find yourself using food and eating-related words? What are we, cannibals? But how often have you said this: "You're so cute I want to eat you!" or "You're so cute I want to squish you!"

Wait a second! Now, I don't have any children, but wouldn't you as a mother kinda freak out if someone walked up to you at the park or--worse yet--church, and said "Your baby is so adorable I want to eat him up?" aaahhh!

So, yeah, we's weird people. Not that I'm any different. I say the same things. Especially when I see my friend Heather's baby (photo above). Except the only difference is I generally take it to the hyperbolic level. You should try it sometime. Next time you see a cute kid, go up to them and say "You're so adorable I want to commit bodily harm upon your person."

Just make sure the mother knows you're kidding. :)


  1. My friend does that to people's dogs in the park. She says it in such a high-pitched voice that I am pretty sure even the dog understands that she would like to eat them.

  2. LOL I say that kids are so cute that I want to eat them, like a cookie. And then call them "cookie boy" or "cooke girl."

  3. Found you through SITS and am now following.

    I always thought those expressions were kinda weird.

  4. Your blog is so cute!!! I could just eat it up!
    And I'm usually calling my cute nieces and nephews, little turkeys. I love turkey!
    to eat...
    But I wouldn't eat them! Have you smelled a poopy diaper lately?

  5. That's hilarious! I'm never going to not think about that when someone says something like that now...lol


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