Friday, October 1, 2010
Calm Down? Well, Eff You too.
Some people are very emotional. Some people are not. I'll give you two guesses which one I am. And the first guess doesn't count.
Yes, I am a rather emotional person. And you know what, I don't feel bad about it.
Now, I was watching The Apprentice yesterday, and one of the women was getting really loud and emphatic whenever she spoke, and everyone accused her of taking everything personally. And I must admit that she was a bit overdoing it. So when someone said she was being too emotional, I'm sure most people agreed.
But I'm not sure. I don't think you can be *too* emotional. What I do think you can do is let your emotions run away with you. But there's nothing wrong with having and even expressing your emotions!
I was reading a book about different personality types, and one of the things they said about dealing with the very emotional is that they need to be allowed to let their emotions out. Once they've done that, they can move on. Of course if you read about how to deal with the types that don't show their emotions on their sleeves, it says to be highly technical with them and don't bring emotion into it. So... I guess I can't just expect everyone who deals with me to feel that they have to put up with me being emotional about everything that happens, because technically I should be seeking the best ways to interact with them and their types,
But there is one thing I ask. Please, when interacting with me, if I do unstopper the bottle and let my emotions out, please do not tell me to "calm down." I will give you a hint towards understanding my people: "Calm down" actually translates to "Stop expressing your feelings, they are not valid." In other words... eff you.
Oh yes, when people tell me to calm down, it actually makes me more angry. Because what that means to me is that they don't want to accept my emotions as valid. And since I am the emotional being, then I myself am not valid. (Ok, if this is just me, and not all emotional people out there, then fine, it's just me).
But I will tell you that you can be calm and rational when I get emotional--as long as you make it clear that you value who I am, and ask reasonable questions, I will be much more open to toning down the energy and returning to a normal conversational tone. Just please, please don't tell me to calm down. Let me do it on my own.