I am Ripped

Ok, no, this is not me. But a girl can have goals, can't she?

Really though, I am quite proud of myself because I finally went to the gym last night for the first time in ages. I got an awesome deal with Bally's since I used to belong there--$99 for a whole year, at any location. I suppose that comes from when I paid through the nose for that ability, plus the personal training sessions.

To get this great deal I had to sign up back in November. And alas, since I was living at the office back then, I didn't get around to going. But really it's only a few bucks down the drain.

But after making it through my second weekend of the new year (no this isn't a "new year's resolution" it just happens to be the timing) without making it to Bally's, I decided that Monday was the day and packed the workout clothes, water bottle, and Zumba towel. The only thing missing was a combination lock, but I figured I could get one at the CVS or Wallgreens that I would pass on the way there.

Can you believe that both the CVS and the Wallgreens were out?

Of course you can, because everybody and their brother made new year's resolutions to work out.

Fortunately the wise people at Bally's had stocked up, so even though it was an extra dollar, at least now I could lock up my clothes.

I put in a good half-hour on the elliptical and was thrilled because my knees, which have become quite painful in the last few months, did actually still work, as long as there isn't much resistance. Glory be! The rest of the time was spent getting reacquainted with some of the machines they've got. Sadly I don't think they've gotten new ones at all--I was rather hoping in the last 4 years they would have. Oh well, they still work... most of them. :)

And can I just say that my favorite machines are the Hip Adductor/Abductors. Those are the ones where you sit down and have to either press your legs together against resistance, or swing them apart. It kind of looks  like you're practicing to lay an egg. You can't really make eye contact with anyone whilst using them, but they are fun. And I think my favorite part was when I got off the one where you press together which was at 120 pounds, and the chick who got on next moved it to like 80. Aw, yeah. Because it's all about competition at the gym. If I can't be thinner, I want to be stronger.

So the goal is to go 2-3 times a week. It's a bit of a time investment, because I walk 3-4 blocks there from the train, then about 7 blocks home, plus the time spent getting changed and then actually working out. But it's a worthy endeavor, and I was home just in time to see Castle, which is all that really matters to me on Mondays anyway. :)

Please check in to see how I'm doing, and feel free to ask how it's going. 'Cause I may never look like that woman in the photo, but I betcha I could get darned close if I really put my mind to it.

Have an Extraordinary Day!

Smell Me, I'm Sexy!

This is not me.

But maybe one day it will be.

Except I will have more curves.

Yeah, now we're talkin'.

But this post isn't about pictures (although I could quite easily make it about the very very very interesting pictures that come up when you do a Google Images search for "Woman working out" and "Curvy Woman."

But that's beside the point.

The point.

The point is this: I smell damn sexy when I work out.

You read that right. I swore.

Oh, you were more shocked at the rest of the sentence.

Well, it's true. When I'm stuck outside in 97-degree humidity helping a friend move, I do not smell good. But somehow, after an hour of cardio-crazy Zumba, I smell amazingly good. And it's this weird thing because it kicks in at a certain point in the workout, because I'll be sweaty, sweaty, whatever, and then all of a sudden in the middle of a song I'll be like "Ahhh, there it is. Now I'm sexy."

I kid you not. I don't like the smell of my sweat when I'm helping a friend move in eleventy-five degrees. But there's something about the odor that wafts off my toning muscles or something--it just smells... good. (Of course people will prefer the smell of their own pee over the smell of others' so I'm sure it's not saying much to think my sweat smells good--who actually signs up for an experiement where you have to smell pee, anyway? But even a couple of days later my workout clothes don't smell musty and gross. They smell like sexy sweat.)

I mentioned this to some friends, who are now officially a part of my in-crowd, because a) they didn't look at me like I'm crazy and b) I can never let them get mad at me and spread this nonsense I say to other people.

One of them actually did say that it could be my pheremones. And then she patted me on the head and backed slowly out of the building.

But I think she's right. I mean, you see someone working out, and they look all slick and yummy, and if you go up to them sometimes they smell like two-week-old underwear, but sometimes they don't. I think it's all about the pheremones.

Or the endorphins. To quote a movie I should never tell people I actually like this much: “Exercise gives you endorphins--endorphins make people happy and happy people just don't shoot their husbands... they just don't.” (10 points if you know the movie)

So, if you think of it that way, maybe it's my endorphins leaking out. Because Zumba sure does make me happy, even when it's totally kicking my butt. And happiness is sexy. (Maybe this is God's way of making me feel better about the fact that I have to work out to lose weight, as opposed to "pass out" or "eat out" or "peace out" which are three things I'd normally rather be doing)

I like thinking of it that way. Next time I get on the bus after Zumba I'm not going to feel bad about being sweaty and gross. If anyone looks like they notice, I'm just gonna go right up to them and say:

That's not sweat you smell, it's happiness. And you look like you could use some.

So take a big whiff.